San Andreas

  San Andreas
(2015) on IMDb

This movie is not what it’s cracked up to be.

First my politically correct version of my review, then how I really feel.

The visuals are extraordinary in showing such things as a cruise ship being plummeled into the Golden Gate Bridge which of course wasn’t done by scale models, it was computer generated. I find CGI in this case to not work that well. For a moment you get into how extreme and awesomely destructive this appears but quickly that fades into like watching a video game. Ho hum. It gets worse.

After the destruction, taking place mostly in San Francisco, there is buildings and debris everywhere, and our “hero” is driving a speedboat through it all. Surrrrrrrrrrrrrr. That’s believable.

Now my non politically correct version:

This was the worst piece of movie making crap I have ever seen. Godzilla movies are better to watch than this as they are more believable. What were the writers and producers thinking? It’s like they made a video game but there’s no interaction.

A movie about an earthquake should not be fashioned after video games where scenes are are a complete fantasy. It should be realistic and lean on the writing and plot to sensationalize, not bad computer generated graphics.* The 1974 film “Earthquake” was more believable than this pile of rubble.

Look at the image which is one of the scenes in the movie where a 100% unrealistic crack appears in the earth. It looks fake and it not even in the realm of possibilities. They don’t even have the telephone poles right, wires wouldn’t snap that easily and they would fall in a way where wires are attached. These are mere child like representations.

This movie is a complete waste of time unless you want to learn what not to do in film making.

The master reels should be thrown into this imaginary fake crack in California never to be retrieved again.

Don’t just take my word for it, see this movie for yourself.

Buy or rent it now on

*In a video game turned into a movie, or a comic book, they are taking a fantasy and turning it into big screen fantasy. The concept works with computer graphic imagery better in these kinds of movies, and in cartoons done in CGI as they are still fantasies. When we see the film we can still fantasize. When it’s done with a concept of reality, like a disaster movie, it makes it all look cartoonish. In the case of San Andreas this effect is so overplayed that it destroys the movie worse than any earthquake could on it’s own.

One thought on “San Andreas”

  1. This movie is so bad I rate it at a -10 on the IMOVIES ‘pickter’ scale. Half way through I wanted to leave. At the end I wanted my money back. As I drove home I was so disgusted with it I wanted the memory of it erased from my mind completely. After a few days of still remembering the horror of this pile of trash thrown at me I wanted to be reimbursed for my travel time and time spent watching it.

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